Independence Days

July 4th has special meaning for me for a couple of reasons.  Of course it is Independence Day, the 237th celebration of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The document authored by Thomas Jefferson and signed by the Continental Congress, declaring our independence from England, King George and his Tyranny and Oppression.  

 

But first, and more importantly. On this day 70 years ago, my Mother and Daddy, Ken (Jimmie) Hubbell and Fern Meadows were married in Bonham, TX.  My Mother and Daddy's sister Aunt Marilyn had hopped on a train in Pontiac, Michigan to make the long ride to Texas so that they could get married. They were supposed to be married on the 3rd, but somebody in my Dad's platoon, or whatever it was called, had misbehaved and they all spent the day of the 3rd marching the parade grounds.   So my parents were relegated to celebrating their anniversaries with picnics and fireworks rather than romantic dinners. The next year, my brother Jimmie was born on December 30th, 1944, and 4 years later along came my brother David on October 8th, 1948, 2 and a half months pre-mature. I didn't show up until 13 years later on March 6th, 1962.  Before I was born, they lived in several places in Texas, Denver and Montgomery, AL before returning to Michigan. After spending so many winters in the south, Mother couldn't take the Michigan winters and told Daddy to get them out of there, so in 1954 they headed to Florida where Daddy had a job as a civilian flight instructor at Bartow Air Base. 

I was born in Winter Haven where Daddy was working for General Telephone, a long career which moved us to St. Pete and Bradenton where he retired. In the 70's before he retired, they bought a lot and built a small cabin in the Smoky Mountains of Western North Carolina which is I supposed where I got my love for the mountains.  They  very active at First United Methodist Church for many years. On July 4th, 2008, their 65th anniversary, Daddy was able to spend only a short time away from the nursing home with Mother who had been in Blake Hospital for a month at that time.  It was both heartwarming and heartbreaking seeing them together holding hands and smiling as though they were still 19 and 20 years old.  On August 5th, Mother sent her boys to breakfast and passed away in her sleep.  When we went to tell Daddy, he was looking out the window at the hospital.  When told, he got a sly grin on his face, paused for a moment, and with a tear in his eye said: "good for her".  Four months later, on December 5th, after a week at St. Joseph's hospital when he aspirated on Thanksgiving mac n cheese at my house, Daddy passed away at hospice in Temple Terrace.

I can't speak for my brothers, and I know that nobody can say that their childhood was perfect.  But I never doubted that I was loved.  I had a real long dream about them last night, and some say that when your loved ones appear in your dreams, it is their way of validating that they love you and are watching over you.  If that's true, then thanks, I love you and miss you so much.  Happy Anniversary!

Well, that took longer than I thought it would.  So I will save my other Independence Day rant for another day.  I think it is best that I stay with a tribute to the people who made me the man I am today.

Bye bye DOMA. Hello marriage equality.

Today is a momentous day!  For one, I finished mowing my one acre yard with a 21" walk behind lawn mower for the first time.  But that is not really what I am talking about.



Today, the Supreme Court struck down the Defense Of Marriage Act, otherwise known as DOMA. Mark this day on your calendars, June 26, 2013 which is just 2 days before the 45th anniversary of the Stonewall riots in NYC.  You can Google that for more info. For those of you who don't know, don't remember, DOMA  is a law that Congress passed and President Bill Clinton signed into law that defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman (which to me should have made 2nd, 3rd, and 4th etc marriages illegal at that point, after divorce, but that is for a whole other blog) and basically denied 1,138 federal rights to LGBT couples automatically enjoyed by heterosexual couples simply by signing a marriage license and saying the words "I do".http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d04353r.pdf The previous link will take you to a document showing all 1,138 benefits. 
Charlie and I attended a Town Hall Meeting last week sponsored by WLOS Channel 13, or local ABC affiliate about gay marriage.  There was one slick lawyer with a $500 suit and a $100 haircut opposed to gay marriage who spoke eloquently about how it would be the downfall of society, and that if gay people wanted the same rights as heterosexual people, they could simply hire a lawyer to get the same rights.  The problem is that, he was full of as much BS as his hair was gel. For one, IF LGBT couples could afford to hire a lawyer to obtain these rights, there are still hundreds of rights that no lawyer, no matter how good they are can litigate. 

Tonight, we joined a covered dish dinner, sponsored by the Campaign for Southern Equality at First Congregational Church in Downtown Asheville. Together we celebrated the decision of SCOTUS and asked questions of lawyers and others involved in the fight for marriage equality. One of the questions came from a middle aged lesbian who asked: "Does this mean that we should go to a state that does allow gay marriage and get married?" and the answer was a resounding "YES!". With that, she spun around, dropped to down on one knee, and asked her partner of 31 years to marry her!  The room erupted in a standing ovation, cheers and tears. 

So, Charlie and I, as soon as we can save up enough money will be heading to Baltimore to get married.  We never wanted to have a "Civil Union".  We always thought they sounded so generic, sterile and un-romantic.   We hope to be able to do this before Fall.  I never dreamed that this would be a reality in my lifetime.  So wish us luck, and pray that we're able to save enough money soon!  Oh, and for those who hate: I pray for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atBg9zLI2bA

Happy Gay Month

Kenny

And then...

So after I started rambling on and on about how I didn't want any negativity on my blog, I discovered 2 things. 1. They DO have controls that let me decide whether or not I want to let someone post on my blog. 2. If I play by the rules, I can let Google place ads on my blog and actually make a little money. I can also decide who cannot advertise on my site so I won't be offended when I sign on.

That being said, I just wanted to briefly talk about a couple of things. Today, Charlie and I were driving through Downtown Asheville when suddenly on the sidewalk to our right, we noticed a couple of nice looking young ladies strolling along with no tops on. Now before you act shocked, this is actually completely legal here and is pretty common when the weather is warm and beautiful like it was today. While neither Charlie nor I are huge fans of female breasts, we appreciate their right to bare them as they please. Their argument is that if men can walk around in public with no shirts on, exposing their chests, (THANK YOU JESUS!, then why shouldn't women? I completely agree with them. Apparently this law has been on the books for many years, but given the current political climate, there are rumblings in some halls of government that suddenly, women should be ashamed of their upper bodies as they were in the good ole days when they were busy being pregnant and exposing their bare feet in the kitchen instead, and it was easier to find a place to sit on the bus because the seats were color coded by who and where the people were sitting.



Speaking of change. Was I? Boy howdy, the states that are opening up the doors for marriage equality are making a deafening slam. Hopefully this will give the Supreme Court and nudge and Congress and clue. Although, I don't really think congress can really find a clue even if it is 91% in front of them, unless it comes with $8.2 million dollars. But I think that is better left for another day. Did you hear that? It was the sound of another can of worms being opened.

Your homework class is this: Either drag out that old high school history book or Google it, but I would like for you to review the US Constitution. I think we may have gone past the point of no return on this document, so I have 2 words for you. Constitutional Convention.

TTFN

Kenny

My First Time

This: Is my first blog. Fair warning, I am an out, spiritually confused, opinionated, socially liberal, fiscally moderate gay man who sometimes gets fired up by things that I see people have said or done on TV or read online. I make no apologies for that and if I offend you, I make no apologies for that either. I also do not want to argue with you. This is my blog to get the things off of my chest the things that I want to. If you disagree with me, then move on to the next blogger who agrees with your way of thinking. There is more than enough space on the internet for all of us idiots who have nothing better to do than to sit here and type our fingers to the bone. But if you want to argue, you have come to the wrong place. I will delete you or block you, or whatever it is that I can do, whenever I figure out how to do that if you insist on fouling up my blog with negativity. This is my little space in the cyber universe to say what I am thinking. If you like what I say, and want to praise me, then please bring it on! But if you want to be ugly, then go on with your own bad self. I think I have beat that dead horse long enough and for a first blog, I don't want to make it too bloody. I look forward to rambling on to you about marriage equality, right wing idiots, left wing idiots, things that make me laugh and cry. I expect to give you all the gory details of me and my partner (Charlie) of nearly 25 years upcoming wedding at a yet to be determined time. We are planning on heading to Maryland for this so that we can at least be legal there, but more on that later. Hopefully I can make some friends along the way. Until later, I hope that you are enjoying your view as much as I am mine, from the mountains.

Kenny